BaMidbar, BaMidbar
One of the strangest moments I ever experienced was when a
rabbi standing in front of a Torah class turned to us, a group of some thirty
women, and said, “You can’t see me.”
I was taken aback. In front of me stood a tie, a suit, a
gesturing hand, even bold blue eyes, but the being who was animating all those
physical things was not visible to my eyes. Even if the person standing in
front of me donned different clothing – a different tie, skis instead of a
suit, a different hand, even a different face – he would still be him.
Today you can have heart replacement surgery. They take out
your heart and give you a new one. They can even replace parts of the brain.
If they took away everything you have – your money, your
house, your clothing, even your body – would you still be you? This is question
that the mitzvah of tznius forces us
to confront.
I once read a quote that said, “The most valuable things in
the world are not things.” Like you. You aren’t just pair of hands and a
bladder. You have inner content. You are a thinking person and an emotive
person. You have meaningful relationships with ideas, with other people, with
G-d, and with yourself. You can have self-respect because you often make good
choices and learn from your mistakes.
Being tznius means
that you are aware of all this and allow it to fill you up. When your feeling
of worth comes from genuine self-knowledge and self-respect, you don’t need to
grab attention by dressing provocatively, behaving provocatively, or flashing
money.
Tznius is usually
translated as modesty, but it does not mean modesty in the typical sense. Tznius means internality. The tzanuah person draws attention to her
inner content by de-emphasizing those factors that might distract people from
who she really is. Ever heard the expression, “My eyes are up here?” Instead of
drawing attention to your body, tznius
draws attention to the fact that you are more than a body.
Flashy externals can distract others from who you really are.
However, once another person gets to know you for who you really are, then your
beautiful externals can become meaningful expressions of the relationship
instead of distractions.
An example of this takes place in Parashas BaMidbar. “When the camp is to journey, Aharon
(Aaron) and his sons shall come and take down the partition-curtain and cover
the ark of testimony with it.” (Bamidbar-Numbers 4:5) The vessels of the
Mishkan (Tabernacle) were gorgeous. Gold
and silver, silks and leathers, incredible hand-made dyes, amazing carvings and
exquisite weaves. But these beautiful things were not flashed and displayed for
all the world to see.
The beauty of the Mishkan wasn’t used to gain the admiration
of other nations. In fact, it was hidden from other nations.
When the Jewish People set up camp and settled down, the
Mishkan was set up with them. Only then was the beauty of the Mishkan
displayed. The purpose of the beauty of the Mishkan was to express the
relationship that the Jewish People had with G-d, but the relationship itself
didn’t depend on physical, external pleasures or beauties. He wasn’t our
“trophy husband”.
We had committed to Him unconditionally, regardless of
whether He showered us with a Mishkan of silver and gold. We didn’t marry Him
for His money. We knew Him for who He is, the essence that the eyes can’t see.
Tznius is the
foundation for that kind of relationship, and that’s the kind of deep, loving relationship
that every human being deserves.
Thanks to Claudio for the fantastic picture!
